These days we have been talking about caesarean section as an option to give birth, precisely because in Babies and more We think that it cannot be an option, something that a mother can choose, but a necessary intervention for those deliveries that require it.
Caesarean sections that are done because yes, because a mother pays to have it done or because a professional decides to do it because she is doing well by the hour, or because she prefers to do so, they receive the colloquial name of unnecessary caesarean sections (abbreviated to a non-cesarean section), and when a woman did not expect or desire her, she may feel that her birth could have been otherwise, that she could have given birth if she had been with other professionals, (or that she they have stolen the birth) all very frustrating.
However, it seems that a woman cannot complain about her birth or her caesarean section, because right away there are those who tell you that argument so crazed that it comes to preach that the important thing is the end, and not the means: “do not give it so many turns , the important thing is that your child is well“.
As I explained not long ago, Jon, our first child, was born by caesarean section. Everything was going well until Miriam had the epidural, and after it the oxytocin. Soon bradycardias appeared on the monitor and they decided to have a C-section in case they were due to a cord twist. The reality, or what usually happens, is that many children complain about synthetic oxytocin. The contractions that are achieved are more potent than natural and longer, and not all children feel that artificial "turbo".
She and I have the feeling that if things had been done differently, if she had had freedom of movement and had not put on the epidural, the child would have been born through the big door (and not the service door), so when people asked us, and especially when asked, she used to say "good, but ...".
Good, but…
And that but responds to the logical expectations of being a completely healthy mother of 23 years pregnant with a baby of just over two and a half kilos in a normal pregnancy. Is that anyone who explains it sure tells you that all the conditions are met so that the delivery is completely normal.
However, when you think that there is still a little left for the monitor to begin, they start to whistle and they tell you that now, that it is already, that caesarean section, that “we take it out”.
We welcomed our son a little earlier than we expected (minutes, hours), but with the feeling that everything could have been different. Feeling that affects, above all, the mother, who is the one who does the caesarean section, is the one who suffers separating your baby for an hour or two (according to the protocol of the hospital, which now luckily there are some who do not separate them) and is the one who suffers a slow and tedious recovery in many cases.
But woman, the important thing is that the child is well
Then you, woman who knows that this child can no longer give birth, although you thought you were capable of it, you decide to be honest with others and express that emptiness, that feeling that in a way oppresses you and makes you feel bad because it seems that you were not capable of it, or because you feel you were, and they didn't let you prove it, and instead of receiving understanding they silence you, because the important thing is not you, nor what you feel. The important thing is the baby and that is well.
So what are you complaining about? Well, of that, that you have the feeling that your baby could have also been born well vaginally, that you could have been with him at all times, without that two-hour break, that may seem silly but it isn't, and that in the end you could be just as happy with your baby, which, as I say, is fine, but having been all very different.
The problem, as always, is that it seems that mothers cannot say what they feel. The gynecologist, when she said "good, but ...", replied "forget it, do not think about it, the important thing is that the child is well". He just needed to add: “Come here, little girl, give me a hug so you will be calmer. Come on, that has been nothing. It's over ”(paternalism, they call it).
And the boy from Piqué and Shakira?
These days Piqué and Shakira have published a photo of Milan. I think you'll agree with me that it's a beautiful baby. As these days we have talked a lot about his unnecessary caesarean section, because it was a choice of the parents and not of the doctors, I wanted to show this picture because, certainly, in the end everything went well the child is well and, as they say, that It is the important thing.
