After a few entries talking about high-demand babies explaining their characteristics and some of the experiences of parents who have had babies of this type, it was pending to discuss the origin of such behavior in babies.
Because of my profession, I visit several mothers and several babies on a daily basis and both by observation and by what the mothers explain, I have found, on occasion (few, in fact), babies that could be considered in high demand.
Once "sighted", the ideal is to continue observing their behavior over time to see how they evolve (sometimes they are very nervous a few days for some reason and when this is solved they are relatively calm babies) and ask parents how was the birth , the first days, how the baby behaved, etc. In this way it is possible to know, in a way, if the high demand baby is born, or is made.
The high demand baby is born
I'm practically sure that High demand babies are like that because it is their character, because they are more sensitive, they need more contact, more movement ...
To make this statement I focus on those babies whose mothers explain that "from the first day it was like this" or that the first days I was a little sleepy but immediately began to express their needs.
The most striking case is that of twins, who now have four months, which from the first day proved to be very different. On the first visit, when they were barely 8 days old, they entered one by one in their twin stroller and, while one of them slept peacefully, the other moaned and stirred "like a chickpea in the mouth of an old man."
On subsequent visits the girl always showed a similar behavior and the parents themselves explained that "they are night and day" and that, while one practically falls asleep alone and is left behind waiting for her turn, the other demands arms and food as if it only existed she.
The high demand baby is made
However, I have also been able to observe children whose parents explain to you that they are very demanding, that they cry very often, that they only calm down in their arms, that they cannot be with someone other than a mother or father for a moment or that the mere fact of losing sight of the mother a few seconds generates a drama of excessive proportions, whose first months seemed to be calmer or in which you observe that There could be a cause-effect relationship between the mother's way of acting and the baby's behavior later.
By this I mean that I have been able to see babies closely linked to their mothers, unable to separate from them and that they could be considered in high demand, whose mothers have explained, for example, that when they were premature they started doing the kangaroo method, They have continued to do so until now, although it could already be considered a term child of more than three months and who cries a lot if he is not with the mother. Or the case of another mother whose baby, diagnosed with hip dysplasia, explains that she always carries her baby in a backpack so that her legs are wide open and that seems to have caused her to always want to be in her arms, to wake up. often to see if mom is close, etc.
The doubt in this type of case is Knowing whether these babies and others in a similar situation would have been high demand babies alike.
The diagnosis is indifferent
In any case, as I have said on other occasions, if a baby demands arms, he wants to feed often and wakes up several times at night (and everything that a high-demand baby can ask for), the performance of the Parents should be the same, whether considered high demand or not: meet the needs of their baby.
It is indifferent to say that a baby is in high demand because he was born that way or that it is in high demand because by holding it a lot in his arms he has created a very strong bond with his mother (or father), because the diagnosis is only useful for parents, to understand that your child's behavior is normal, despite being different from most children and to understand that you need your needs to be taken into account, like all children.
Conclusion
The high demand baby is born, but it is also made. Making an analogy between the babies and the plants, we could say that the babies that are born being of high demand are like the plants that, as soon as they sprout, are curled in the stick that, nailed next to them, serves as a guide.
Babies that "are made of high demand" would be the plants that are born parallel to said stick, which are tied when sprouting with flanges to offer them a guide and that, little by little, approach it until it coils in the same way.
Babies with a less demanding behavior, more habitual, would be those plants that grow in a parallel way to the stick, close, with moments when they are rolled up to him and moments in which they separate again (although they could also be rolled up when sprouting to be released immediately , or be caught with flanges at the beginning to separate from the stick as soon as the support ceases, or ...).
The good thing is that, if we watch all three types of plants grow over time, there will come a day when they will overtake the stick and continue on their way without your help, that is, babies who seem to never be separated from their parents, one day, when they grow up, they will show that time has not passed in vain and that all the time of intense contact has served them to mature and be able to continue Your way alone.
Photos | Flickr - memecode, TheGiantVermin On Babies and more | What does it mean to have a high demand baby, High demand babies: characteristics (I), (II) and (III), High demand babies: how the term is born, High demand babies: when traveling in the car is a mission impossible
