Probably all of us who have children older than four or five years have already been on occasion for the famous public tantrums that can happen when we are away from home. It is not always easy to handle them and there are many factors that can influence our reaction.
But what to do if he is someone else's son? A mother invites us not only not to judge, but to support mothers whose children are having a tantrum in public.
The power of a kind word or gesture is one that we are not always aware of. Sometimes, a supportive phrase or a comprehensive look is all someone needs to transform and cope better with a bad day. At least, this is the message that a mother leaves us.
In Babies and moreThe photograph of a father and daughter during a tantrum that reminds us of how important our reaction isKatie McLaughlin is the mom and blogger behind Pick Any Two, a blog that talks about motherhood and lifestyle. In a recent publication she shares what happened one day while shopping and it was her turn to witness a mother who was having a hard time trying to calm her three-year-old daughter's tantrum.
This morning at Target I witnessed a tantrum of epic proportions. Behind me, a three-year-old girl was kicking, screaming and crawling on the floor like a fish out of the water. I tried to look her mother in the eye to give her an empathetic look, but she was too busy trying to calm her daughter to look at me.
The mother was doing everything "well." He kept calm. He spoke to his daughter kindly. He was attentive to her while trying to pay for the things she was carrying. But despite her best attempts, the tantrum just got bigger and bigger. The mother was still calm, but I realized she was blushing when she deeply apologized to the clerk.
Tell him something kind, I thought. She is alone and ashamed and feels like a terrible mother. Remind him that none of those things are true,
But then I thought: No, it's not my business. LEAVE THE POOR STRANGE WOMAN IN PEACE.
I took my time to leave the store. The girl continued to scream as loudly as she could while walking through the parking lot. She struggled with all her might while her mother placed her in her chair inside the car.
I felt exasperated just to see her, so I knew that the mother's pressure should be very high.
Go with her, Katie, I thought again. This time I did it.
"I'm sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to tell you that you're doing a great job."
She looked at me, blinked twice and collapsed. He began to cry and said, "I think I feel as bad as she does."
I nodded. "I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but you're doing great."
More tears "You don't know how much I needed to hear that."
Yes I thought about it. All parents need it. So let's start saying it. Let's take the risk. That mother could have seen me weird. He could have told me to get into my own affairs. But I took a chance and we both felt better about it.
Empathy instead of judging. Support instead of silence. Community instead of isolation. This is the parental revolution.
What Katie witnessed is something that, in addition to having lived as parents, we probably also had to witness. In my experience, most people choose not to say anything to make the mother feel worse, but it has also touched me see friendly people who intervene and try to help reassure children.
In Babies and more A mother whose daughter suffers from ADHD reminds us why we shouldn't judge other momsKatie's post has been shared more than 13,500 times and has obtained more than 30,000 reactions, in addition to hundreds of comments from mothers and fathers, not only applauding her act of empathy towards the other mother, but sharing how they had done the same, or had been in the mother's place when a stranger made a kind gesture.
We all once were and will probably continue to be in either position. Let's always do our best for not to judge and if possible, support fathers and mothers They are going through a tantrum of their children. Sometimes a word or smile can do great things.
