Yesterday I told you about the loss of identity that some women experience when they become mothers, and that it is a natural part of all the physical and mental changes we live when we have children. But how can we feel "we" again?
Today I want to talk to you about how you can adapt to your role as a mother, to recover (or perhaps build) your identity after having children and feeling better in your new role as a woman and mother.
More than a loss, it is a transformation
As I mentioned in the previous article where I talked about that confusing feeling in which you no longer felt like "you" after being a mother, pregnancy, childbirth and postpartum bring hundreds of changes in every aspect of our life.
Everything around you is now different: your routines, the rhythm of life, your rest (or lack thereof), your body and even your way of thinking. You have become a new and different woman than you used to be before having children. And in many cases yes, you feel that you have lost your identity.
But more than a loss of identity, I invite you to see it as a transformation, in which you will have to build and form a new version of you, a new identity that combines the woman you were with the mother you are today.
And is that When a baby is born, a mother is also born. But that is not why we must assume that the woman you used to be ceases to exist. No, it's still there, but during this process of transformation into your new role as a mother, you may have lost connection with her and even miss her.
And what happened to the woman you were before?
There it goes, maybe asleep, hidden, because at this moment you are focusing all your energies on adapting to your mother role, for which, I must say, you will always be in constant learning, development and growth.
But yes, that woman you used to be is still there. And it is very important that although at this moment it is no longer your main role, don't lose sight of it or neglect it. Because within it is your essence and your personality.
Reconnect with yourself after having children
It's normal that With the arrival of motherhood, you put aside many things (mainly because your routine is now another), among which are perhaps activities you used to do or things that helped you feel happy and better with yourself.
I know that once you are a mother it can be very difficult to find time for you, but it is important that also as a mother, you have spaces alone or moments to do what you like. It is called self-care, it is very healthy and advisable to do so.
When we are mothers, we must also take care of our self-esteem, and that will be achieved by pampering, loving and caring for our health and well-being in general. Take care of your baby, but also do the same with you.
Building your new identity as a woman and mother
Do not be distressed, that feeling of loss of identity also has its positive side, and a very good one: the opportunity to build a new identity With the woman you were and the mother you are today.
Reconnect with yourself, adapt those things that you used to enjoy doing and try to make them part of your routine as a mother. For example, if you used to go to the gym before but now it is complicated because you have no one to take care of your baby, try to exercise at home (there are even mom and baby routines online!).
Or if you enjoyed listening to music to raise your mood, perhaps you will love knowing that there are children's versions of many popular songs, which you can enjoy with your baby, and over time, go presenting the original versions and enjoy them together. The same if you liked to travel: now you can do it in the company of your baby (and porting works wonders in this case!)
One of the most difficult changes of being a mother is to meet your new body. But I I invite you to make peace with the woman in the mirror. Look at him and carefully observe all those beautiful qualities that you now have: the marks that a new life broke through.
You may feel that you have lost your identity by becoming a mother, but now you have the opportunity to create a new and improved you. Love yourself, take care of yourself and give yourself the opportunity to continue growing, learning and strengthening you.
Photos | Pexels, iStock
In Babies and more | What to do to feel better if you can not have your "time for mom" during the day, seven ideas to have today that deserved time for mom
