Being a mother or father for the first time is something that is undoubtedly accompanied by large doses of tiredness and anxiety. There are many parents who ask at 3 in the morning if their baby eats enough, if he should already sleep all night or if there is something they should do differently. In social networks, parents upload photos of their little children sleeping and happy, while in reality many parents fail to make them fall asleep, hence some seek a miracle ... and quickly.
Since the publication of Dr. Benjamin Spock's sales success, The book of common sense and the care that should be taken with children, many self-proclaimed experts have taken advantage of the pull to offer incredible remedies for sleep, food and Caring for the little ones. Several generations of parents have sought advice on books like Dr. Spock's, but the truth, beyond anecdotal cases, we don't know for sure if these books work.
It is impossible to overlook the fact that most of these books, despite their popularity, they don't have a scientific base. Some even go against the things we know that promote healthy and positive childhood attachment, well-being and health. In fact, our recent research suggests that the impact of some of these books on maternal well-being is not good and that there is a relationship between its use and the increased probability of suffering from symptoms of depression and anxiety.
Only one in five mothers believed that the books had been useful to them, more than 50 percent were harmful, and 53 percent caused more anxiety.The problem is that there may be a mismatch between the expectations offered by books and the reality of being parents. Our research showed that mothers' experience in following the advice of books often influenced their well-being. If the books were useful, the welfare of the mothers was not affected, but if they were not, they were more at risk of depression and anxiety. Unfortunately, Only one in five mothers in our study believed that the books had been useful to them (22% said they felt safer), while more than 50% found them harmful in some way and 53% caused them more anxiety.
Only one in ten participants felt that the advice of the books relaxed them, while one in six said she felt unsuccessful because of the books and the promise of sleeping at night was never fulfilled. Since mothers who already suffer from anxiety and low self-esteem often turn to these types of books in search of a solution, it is worrying that they can make things worse.
Useless tips
So why don't these books work for most parents? Probably because the idea of a baby adapting to the parents' routine is something that It goes against many things we know about babies' needs. The little ones need to eat every bit because their bellies are small. For example, breast milk is digested very easily, hence they have to eat a lot (something that helps maintain good milk production).
Waking up at night is also normal. After all, many adults wake up at night, but are able to respond to their own needs when it comes to covering up with the blanket or going for something to drink. Babies need help to do these things. Finally, human babies are really very vulnerable compared to many other mammals: they can't even hold their heads up on their own and much less walk or feed on their own shortly after birth. This means that are scheduled to want to have their caregivers nearby.
Trying to make babies eat less frequently, fall asleep and lie down without problems is something that goes against their needs to develop normally. Although it may work for some parents, there are many who will realize that they will have other problems. For example, trying to limit how much a baby eats can reduce milk production, making them stressed and increasing the likelihood of breastfeeding problems. Not responding to the cries of a baby at night also causes them stress and sleeping near their mother at night makes the temperature, heart rate and breathing more constant.
Miraculous cure
With all this, you can understand why parents are attracted to books that promise them tricks that work. Motherhood is somewhat tiring and many new mothers are isolated from their families, which can increase the risk of depression. There are many mothers who have to return to work while they still have to suffer sleepless nights.
It is normal for parents to worry if they are doing "good", but they should remember that a baby has many needs and the fact that they want to be close is normal. In fact, responding to the needs of babies helps newborns learn that the world is a safe place.
The advice of books and "experts" may seem like a good idea, but the fact of the matter is that the little ones react biologically and have not read the same advice as mom or dad.
Author: Amy Brown, Associate Professor of Child Public Health, University of Swansea.
This article has originally been published in The Conversation. You can read the original article here.
Translated by Silvestre Urbón.
