Is there a war between mothers? Of course, does anyone doubt it? Enter any forum of babies and mothers and you will see an open war with discussions between mild and very hot between those who teat and do not give it, those who sleep with children and those who do not, those who do not punish and those who do, those who would never hit a child and those who believe it is positive and appropriate to slap children to learn.
In Babies and more We have spoken on occasion of this war. A few days ago, in fact, Lola shared a video that referred to her. Now a group of women has decided to put their grain of sand for the cause to end the mothers' war with a collection of photos and a message that they have titled as "Truce among moms". Do not miss it, because it will not leave you indifferent.
The message of Treselefantes
This group of women call themselves Treselephants and they are all as different as mothers, so disparate, they have so little in common as far as they are concerned, that they have decided to flag that difference, that respect they profess, and send a message that does not leave indifferent to nobody:
For some women, when we become moms, life changes us in a much deeper sense than the accepted one in front of others and in front of ourselves. Our body changes, our emotions too. Our certainties collapse to leave us invaded by a lack of knowledge that makes us fragile and invisible.
This subtle transformation of our lives and our bodies gave rise to the idea of sharing a collective project in us (three women, three friends, three moms). Treselefantes arose, whose objective was to give body to the maternal. Banish that idealized, mythological motherhood and name, talk about singular, daily, routine practices. Motherhood, or rather motherhoods confront us from the root, from the entrails to not knowing how to do it, nothing will ever be what it was and nothing - or almost nothing - will be what it was thought to be. And one feels more alone and less understood than ever.
Treselefantes arose from the need to meet, talk, undress and question the taboos and silences that women keep when the issue at hand is the myth of idealized motherhood. We have been thinking for many years that motherhood is just giving birth, when we all know that childbirth is only the beginning of a unique experience that opens other doors and with them, other uncertainties, anxieties and anxieties. Parenting for example, confronts us, from the outset, with our own ignorance.
Hence the need to campaign as a truce among moms. Breaking the canons, the rules, the duty to be, the perfect mother, idealized, omnipotent. Retake the collective voices, the various heteroparental or homoparental maternal practices, enrich from the groups of married, single or free union women; heterosexual or homosexual Of all colors, of all flavors. We all fit into a project that aims to break with the unique, colonizing and patriarchal thoughts. Listen to each other, listen to us, come back from the maternity communities.
That would be the beginning of the project, but not the end.
Can the Mother's War really stop?
The War of the Mothers (written as it seems until the title of a movie) exists, and can be stopped or avoided if everyone we begin to respect other people and their decisions. Respect does not mean agreeing: surely you have read the messages of the women above and have supported the decisions of some but not those of others. Respect means accepting that other people can do it differently, even if you don't agree.
The complicated thing is that the mothers' war includes third parties who have no voice, no vote: babies. When the decision that a mother (and father) makes affects the baby it is more difficult to be silent, or not to give your opinion. For example, if a mother gives birth at home or in the hospital, she wears cloth or disposable diapers, lesbian or heterosexual, is single or has a partner and is carnivorous or vegetarian, I care little, but who mother say she put her baby to sleep from the first day in her room (baby's) yes, because is putting the baby's life at risk. Babies should sleep up to 12 months of age in their parents' room because doing the opposite is increasing the risk of sudden death.
Removing that detail, I think the rest is all very respectable. And explained like this, with a little sign and a smile, war can be controlled until it disappears. What happens is that people don't talk like this:
-I gave him formula since he was born.
-Ah, well, I breastfed my son.
-Aha, and you, what do you think of the chickens? It was before chicken or the egg?
People talk like this:
-I gave him formula since he was born.
- And you didn't give him anything chest? Didn't you try?
-Well, I didn't want to. I preferred to give a bottle directly.
-Yeah, but breast milk is much better. I breastfed my son and it's the best I could do.
-Yes, well, my son is very healthy.
-Well, but it is better for everything ... they get sick less, they are smarter, they develop better, ...
And it also speaks like this:
-I breastfed my son.
-Well, I gave a bottle since he was born. I tried to breastfeed but I couldn't, so I gave him a bottle and see how good he is.
-The truth is that yes, he looks very healthy.
-Well of course. If I don't know how much to suffer with the chest. I made the bottles for the day and Edu gave them to them at night. And there were days that my mother came to give them to them in the afternoon and so I could be for other things and even go to do some errand. The tit is super sacrificed.
Yes, some have to do the first two, comment quietly without commenting on the option of the other, but I would say that the usual is the other: confront the choice of one with your own choice because when you He says that what he has done has gone well for the other side, he feels the implicit judgment: "when he tells me how well he has done what he has done, which is the opposite of what I have done, he is indirectly telling me that my option is wrong. " And you know, mothers feel pressured to always do well and the last thing they want to hear from anyone is that they could be better mothers, they could do better.
That is why war exists and that is why it will still be a long time until it is over, because everyone thinks, because everyone considers their choice to be the best and why He doesn't want to hear from anyone, from ANYONE, that he's doing it wrong with his baby.
If you add to this that many conversations take place on the internet, where there is no need for a filter because you do not have people in front of you and where many people take the opportunity to give an image of themselves that is not such (everyone on the internet it's very perfect), war is served. Do not you think?
In any case, bravo for this campaign! It is very loar and sure that useful, because They are photos that will not leave anyone indifferent.
