When a couple has a baby, when they are parents, the primary caregiver, who is usually the mother, dedicates most hours of the day to trying to meet the basic needs of their baby, namely, feeding him and carrying him in his arms so that Be calm. In the arms of the parents we can be fantastic substitutes, but as they eat very often, there is little time we can lend a hand and much that we are free because the baby is with her.
So, of course, we have to take care of the house. Yes, I know there are those who say "well, I take the baby and you rest" or "Well, I take you the baby and you do what worries you so much", and I mean those worries of "I can't do anything, the child all day hooked and I have a pile of dishes, a pile of clothes and a pile of dust ... "
But we have already commented on occasion that the ideal is not that, but to team up to eliminate worries and let her take care of the baby. The problem? That parents do everything with the best of our intentions, but 40% of our partners consider that, when we start cleaning, we get dirty more than we clean. Come on, we didn't leave it much better than it was, apparently.
The baby needs the mother more
I understand that parents also want to enjoy our babies, and of course we have to do it, but that moment always comes when our arms are not enough and ask for something else. That moment when you say "honey, I think he needs you". And honestly, it is usually quite often (or at least I as a father have lived it that way).
So, as I say, once in his arms, we have to get to work to try to have food on the table at lunchtime and the dishes collected before the next meal, of course. And if it can be, that when we turn off the house lights because we are going to sleep everything is collected. And I say if it could be because I don't know the others, but we were given the many with the first one and we were not done yet.
"I do it badly, so I don't get too messed up" vs "Clean over clean"
Parents can be classified into several types according to our way of cleaning. On the one hand we have the father style "I do it badly, so that they don't mess me too much", that they are the ones who don't kill themselves too much cleaning or picking up for what they have never done, their mothers did everything, they didn't He likes to do it, he does not motivate them, they believe that it is not they who have to do it, they do not feel well doing it and almost cause them to say that "Go on, leave it, that you make it fatal". On the other hand we have the "clean on clean" style father, who are those who do not even know what they are cleaning, because they are not able to see dirt where their partners see dust, fingerprints or do not know what.
The first does not clean too well, because he does not feel like it (I swear, these specimens exist, I know more than one) and the second does not do it too well either, because he does not know what he has to clean. A third party could be the one who knows what to do, puts effort, desire and intention, but is not able to leave it cleaner than it is (Already, I exaggerate, but it is a way of saying that they do not leave it too clean either). Then the remaining 60% would come, the ones that clean well.
I don't know which of the three mentioned is one of those who spoke to us a few days ago in Peques and more, who mentioned a survey in which they said, among other things, that 40% of women believe that their partners dirty more what they clean, but this makes one think because if they have that perception, they will hardly be calm with their husbands in charge of the house, while they are in charge of the baby.
How clumsy are we or do they require us too much?
40% are many, but many, although it is also true that if we turn the statistics, 60% clean more or less well. But well, what we were going to: is it that we are so clumsy that we are not able to leave things sufficiently collected or clean? Or maybe there women who demand too much? Because when we talk about the men who clean about clean (I have seen myself like this more than once, cleaning I don't know what dirt) it seems that it is not a problem of ours, that we do not even see the dirt, but of them, that they must be endowed of some vision system that we lack, worthy of the CSI, capable of seeing spots and fingerprints not visible by the normal human eye.
And I say this because if the problem is that we are clumsy, then we can always be taught with a little affection. You know, that of "I love that you do it and that you get involved, but maybe it could be better if you did it this way", which always gets better than that of "my mother, if you call it clean ..." Now double work, I'm going to have to do it because it's fatal. The truth is that I don't know why you do anything because to leave it that way would be better than you would have tried. "
Come on better in positive, which is not that there is a desire to do it badly (usually). And if the problem is demanding, then maybe they have to be the two who try to change. She to demand a little less and he to do a little better.
And I insist, so that the woman does not end up overwhelmed, feeling that she has to do everything, absolutely everything, it is better that they try both make team, especially if he is one of those 40%, who stain more than they clean.
