I present to you Marisa, the mother of two teenagers whom many know by her blog "Stressed Mothers". For my part and thanks to this post I am discovering it a little more, and now I know that I connect with it because I share some of the characteristics with which it defines itself, although I can (I think) that I could live without whatsapp and twitter.
The dripping faucets also bother me, and I don't lie to my children either; I love driving on secondary roads and say I love you three (or more) times every day; but I envy that the luggage fits in half a suitcase (that is to be practical), and that the work of cross stitch be carried with me (because mine withers in a closet waiting for someday to decide to continue).
Maybe you follow it through your twitter account, I do, but still sure you like these things that has come to tell us ... For me it is a reference, since it has children older than mine, and I think it's doing greatSo good, it can be an opportunity to learn.
I leave you with her.
Peques and More.- Please tell us when you decided to create your own blog, and why you did it.
Marisa Casas.- I started like everyone else, with a Facebook profile and a page a short time later, bored of a sciatica in bed, a computer relative told me that I was fed up with so much posting, and that better a blog, and thus stress to more people.
I don't even remember what I was doing when they were babies, and I wonder if they will discuss letters or sciences that now talk about tit or bottle
PyM.- You have two teenage children, and in my opinion that gives you a certain "cache", and at least the experience that many of us lack.
M.C.- I get into breastfeeding talks and the truth is that I even laugh, I don't even remember what I was doing when they were babies, and I wonder if they will discuss letters or sciences that now talk about tit or bottle.
I've learned a lot from babies now that I don't need. And I feel like in another division, as a friend told me ... we have already seen this movie, and we are going to the end of the next one.
PyM.- When the baby is born almost do not think that one day he will be 15, when the child is 6 you think everything will be controlled in his teens, but when he turns 10 you start to shake (it's half a joke). Do you think that in general it is difficult for us to accept that they want to have their own life and make their own decisions?
M.C.- It is that in the case of mine it is they who carry the singing voice. Maria chooses her clothes since she learned to speak, Pablo has also had very clear tastes and priorities, it has been a bit of following them instead of directing them.
PyM.- Reading your blog I 'see' you sensible, dialogue, pending of your children but at the same time giving them freedom. What mother do you see in you? What would you want to change in your way of being a mother?
M.C.- Do you want me to ask them? I am dialogue, but I put the rules very few, but those do not move, although some already skip them, But the merit of this house working is not mine, my children are too good and too responsible, I really don't know who they look like.
I think my mistake is the food section, we eat a la carte, now they almost do it, but I have not managed to make some lentils and that the four of us eat them, and dinner even worse.
PyM.- What things hinder the paternal filial relationship when children are no longer?
M.C.- Lack of trust and dialogue. The lack of sincerity, I have not hidden anything, whether it was good or bad. So I do not admit a lie, but because I have not told them one, except for the wise men and the little mouse, I have answered everything they asked me as if I were in front of a judge.
Also the different points of view of the father or mother, if your husband says white, it is white, period, or if I say so, and if it does not seem correct, we will speak it when we are alone.
PyM.- You know that in general parents read a lot about early childhood, after six or seven years the thing changes for many reasons. How do you think the presence of parents should be in the life of a teenager? No parting and letting go right?
M.C.- If you ask them, surely they tell you that I am a very plasta mother, you have to leave (but little), they should know that we are always there, what they are deciding, but if they need us, it won't take us a second to get to save them.
I am the only one of Maria's gang that almost always goes for her wherever she needs it, not because she needs it, but because those moments of returning home are magical, she tells me what she thinks of what they have done, and I tell him my day, I like to talk with his friends, bring them to eat in a because yes…. Let them talk and laugh ...
These are the things that hinder the paternal filial relationship when children are no longer: lack of trust and dialogue and lack of sincerity, I have not hidden anything from them, whether it was good or bad
PyM.- In your opinion, are we saturated with advice and recommendations? Wouldn't it hurt a little of what we can call following instincts?
M.C.- Before it worked much more in large families than now, there were always grandmothers, cousins aunts…. When a woman had her first child, she had already had children nearby, she had seen how they are fed, or if they cry because of sleep, and the advice came from that close family, better or worse, they were always there, but now I fear that this is more difficult and there is more than one mother who has not seen a baby until the doctor tells her to "look how handsome", so I don't know if the instincts are good.
I speak of a mother, but with parents it happens exactly the same, you have to have it a little learned for the instinct to respond.
PyM.- Adolescence is a very important 'crisis' for all (especially for children). We always talk from an adult perspective and I would like you to tell us why it is worth living closely the adolescence of children.
M.C.- It is to see them go from your hand and tell them look to see if there are cars when you cross; to be the ones who teach you to cross the world 2.0 for example. It is also to discover that one day you taught them the numbers and now they give you math lessons, that they know how to get into the kitchen and prepare dinner if they see you reading.
I think that my children have not passed the adolescent stage, Pablo is 18 years old and I have seen him grow up, but I have not seen him doubt, he continues being the same as at five I wanted to learn and teach what I knew to others, has strengthened his ideas, and nothing else. Maria is 14, nor does it give the impression that we are going to have any crisis or anything similar.
From time to time I look at his partner with problems in studies, or who smoke, or who presume to have lived longer and I am amazed to see my children and their friends so integral and so responsible. Of course, I have some fear of her first boyfriend, of either of them, to think that they break their hearts, it hurts, and I don't know how I am going to face it.
From time to time I look at his partner with problems in studies, or who smoke, or who presume to have lived longer and I am amazed to see my children and their friends so integral and so responsible
PyM.- And finally (ending in positive), what attitude of a father or mother facilitates the relationship with a teenage son?
M.C.- There are no dividing lines, you don't have a child and suddenly a teenager, the foundations of everything are laid since birth. So it is not worth waiting for teenagers to do anything that has not been done before. Talking with them, about everything, since the first whys, not hiding your worries or your achievements will make them tell you theirs.
In my case, I hate tattoos, I have been born since they were saying that it is not done, I do not wait until they can tell me that if they can do one. And it is an unimportant issue, so with important things you have to put the batteries since they are born so that now, who listen less, it is not necessary to speak it.
Above all you have to lead by exampleIf you do not smoke, it will be easier for them not to do so, if they see you read, they will read, if when you drive and they are two years old you tell them how important it is to put on the belt, when they are 14 they will tell you if you forget.
I think there comes a time that you can no longer comment or decide much and the time comes to respect what they decide, if they ask, what do I do letters or science? Try to be the ones who answer, or if you decide, unless they don't realize it!
So far the interview, I must thank Marisa for her sincerity, and the clarity with which she answered my questions. For me I will continue to learn from her, and I intend in a few years to "blindly trust my children" because they are whole people, as she does.
I think that everyone who has children about to knock on the door of adolescence (a stage surrounded by myths and fears for parents, and that nevertheless is the natural transition to adulthood, it will have served you to read that energetic mother , sensitive and fun that is behind “stressed mothers”.
And already put, tell you that Stressed Mothers also participates in the great initiative # hayvidadespuesdelos6, which in my opinion is worth following, especially if you look for spaces in which to see you reflected when your children are no longer babies.
In Peques and More | The identity of pre-adolescent children: the moment when the opinion of friends competes with family education, do you have a teenage son? A study questions that the authoritarian style is the most appropriate
