Many of us have a hard time ask for forgiveness and we live it as a humiliating situation. But is not. Making mistakes is part of growth as people and learning; However, if in our mistakes we act unfairly or harm someone asking for forgiveness is necessary, dignifies our attitude and recomposes what the error has been able to damage.
Asking forgiveness is necessary and makes us more admirable, exemplifying and emotionally close people. It certainly helps us to be better parents. Therefore, we must learn to ask the children for forgiveness.
For the children, what their parents ask for forgiveness if they have been wrong it is very important, since we are, with it, teaching in a practical way that it is good to ask for forgiveness. And that will allow them to do it to us and others. To a child to whom no one has asked for forgiveness we cannot demand that he apologize from the heart, wishing to improve and hurt for the damage committed. We will not have the moral strength to demand that, nor will we have taught it. But, if we get used to recognizing our mistakes and apologizing for them, we educate them to be more responsible.
We must learn to apologize
When we sincerely apologize, we clearly demonstrate that we have connected with the feelings of the person we have harmed. It even assumes that we feel a mistake made without intention and also expresses the desire and intention not to repeat the action taken.
The person we ask for forgiveness realizes that we are sorry and, above all, that we feel their pain and their physical or moral pain, that we have been able to understand their feelings and care. When you apologize to a child, you make him feel that, even if you have committed an injustice, you have yelled or hit a cheek, you care that he is suffering, you respect him, you barely.
But if we refuse to listen to our statements we convey that he has done something really bad, that he deserves what we have done, that we do not care what he feels. If we have made a mistake or acted in anger, we should ask for a pedon, it is more important to ask them before anyone else, and that they depend on the image that we reflect to build their self-esteem and their concept of themselves.
Apologize to a child It also has a wonderful rebound effect. The child, upon receiving the message that it is good to apologize and does not diminish their value for it, feels safe to apologize to us. And, of course, both parents and children are going to feel better, better and more peaceful, after asking for forgiveness. And surely everyone, as humans that we are and as people who are on a path of personal improvement, will make many mistakes, lose our exhausted nerves, or use harsh and unpleasant words with people we love.
It is not that we are bad parents for getting angry or losing our nerves, but yes, and that is applicable to all of us, we can improve, be more patient, more empathetic, more organized and calmer. I still have to apologize to my son for sure every day, for a displicent response or for having raised my voice. But he also asks for forgiveness.
When we get angry with the children, it is necessary to talk to them in a calm way, without shouting or insults or threats, about what has happened and trying to explain to them the reasons why we have become angry and apologize if we have lost our nerves. The way to explain our feelings, without conveying guilt for it, is reinforced if we apologize for the mistakes we have made.
Educate by example
Children will have to learn to express their feelings towards others. Possibly they are already small with conflicting situations with siblings, friends or classmates, and, if they have stuck or shouted, they will have to be able to communicate with each other. Both to tell the other, without aggressiveness, what has bothered them, as well as to apologize if they have acted incorrectly.
Children will have to learn that, even if they are angry, they should not hit anyone or insult them, and neither should they hurt anyone even if it is by chance. Little by little they will be advancing in the ability to verbalize their feelings, both those of anger and those of regret. Adults, therefore, must teach them that if we have slapped them, shouted at them or insulted them, the appropriate action is to sincerely apologize for what happened and try not to repeat it. If we do not, we can never expect our children to do it with others.
That parents ask our children for forgiveness when we are wrong is necessary for them to learn to put themselves in the place of another and for them to know ask for forgiveness to others.
They have to learn self-control, so we must teach them. They also have to learn to ask for forgiveness and forgive, and that is also a responsibility of the parents, ours. And assuming it will help our children the rest of their lives and will also revert to a better family life.
