We publish today the third installment of interviews we are doing to psychotherapist Enrique Blay, deepening this time in the importance of attention to the emotional needs of children to give them security in themselves and emotional health.
What is the primal stage?
The primal stage refers to the first or primary time in humans, including pregnancy and birth. Regarding its term there are different opinions. In my view, the primal period should be considered, at least, up to 2 years of age. Until that age the perception is purely emotional and it is then, in the preverbal era, when the conquest of Rational Perception begins, which will last until puberty.
Is this stage so important for future emotional development?
The primary stage is the period where we build our deepest way of being, our most intimate psychological mechanisms, our character, which will accompany us for the rest of our lives.
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Can you say that there are emotional and psychological disorders that come from the primal stage?
We all accept that any alteration in the incredible process of cell multiplication, which converts the union of an egg and a sperm in the body of a baby at birth, or any health problem at birth or in early childhood, can have consequences, more or less serious, in the rest of his life. Well, the same happens with psychological development, which begins at the moment of conception.
Will what will happen in the primal stage affect you throughout your life?
In the primal stage the baby and the child can have negative, traumatic emotional experiences, which, recorded in their unconscious, mark their character the rest of their life.Today we can affirm that, in the history of each person, the events that occurred in their pregnancy, birth and childhood, will be more important to them, than what could happen to them for the rest of their lives
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What is affective food and how can it impair its limitation?
The concept of "affective food" is used in contrast to nutrient food. No one would think of letting a baby or child go hungry. They need proteins, carbohydrates, fats, minerals, vitamins, etc., so that your body grows and develops properly. In the same way, for the harmonious, balanced psychological development, the baby and the child need affective food: protection, affection, affection, love. It should never occur to anyone to let a baby or child not feel intensely loved. I insist, just as important the nutrient food as the affective food for your integral health.
How is a baby or child given that emotional food that they need so much?
To give affective food to babies and children we have effective tools: breastfeeding, attention to crying, schooling and physical contact.
Tell us a little about each one of them.
Regarding breastfeeding, it must be said that breast milk is unquestionable as the best food for the baby, both nutrient level, immunological and affective. Breastfeeding on demand and prolonged over time, gives the baby and child safety and affection. It is also important to consider crying attention. A baby (like a child or an adult) uses crying as a form of expression of suffering, whether physical or emotional, whether due to current or past events (for example, emotional stress at birth may take time to dissolve) , or as an expression of a need. Another resource that provides emotional nourishment to the child is the practice of colecho. It should be noted that the rhythm of sleep in babies is not a learning, just as it is not breathing or digestion, but a progressive natural adaptation in their development process. The most common is that the baby wakes up every two or three hours throughout the night, either because of hunger, discomfort or the need to feel accompanied. Colecho, together with breastfeeding, makes it easier to meet these demands. It gives the baby great security and confidence, makes him feel taken care of and protected. And finally let's not forget the great value of physical contact. The body of the newborn baby is designed to have in the maternal lap everything it needs to survive and to feel good: food, heat, attachment. Long before a child can understand the words, he understands touch.To deny attention to the crying baby is to deny his identity, destroy his confidence, block his emotional expression, initiate him into submission and, in short, cause him unnecessary suffering with present and future consequences.
So you say that a baby is harmed by sleeping alone or that we don't take him in his arms when he asks for it or when he cries?
Every baby and every child is different and will need and express different needs. Now, baby crying is always an expression that you need something. If it is cold or hot we will take the necessary measures to solve it; if he is hungry, we will feed him; if you are sick, we will give you medicines; so why if what you need is our affection, our arms, our caresses, we don't do it?
